The Adventures of Chibi-Chi!
by pinkdragonflame
Summary: Bwahahaha!!! Pure insanity!!! (hey...it rhymes...)
1. Gimme back my house!

The Adventures of Chibi-Chi!

Ch1…

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi or any of its characters. This fic just popped into my insane brain because I was suffering from too-much homework syndrome, and had one too many chocolate bars ^-^

~PG for some minor cussing, but it's mostly *beep*-ed away, so you should be quite safe if you wanna keep your brain cuss-free~

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a hill…**

~Hill appears on screen~

And on that hill was a hut… 

~Camera zooms in to tiny hut on the already tiny hill~

**And in that hut on the hill lived a monk…**

~Chichirii appears, complete with kasa, kesa, staff and fishing pole~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Chichirii: Daa! I don't see why I have to live on a hill…*grumpily sits down beside a river and begins fishing* 

(How did a river get on the tiny hill, you ask? Well, I haven't the faintest idea, but it's there.)

Chichirii: *impatiently* Bite the hook no da! *jiggles pole around a bit* Look no da! A nice, shiny hook for you to munch on no da!

(A cricket chirps in the background. No further activity is seen)

Chichirii: *getting pissed* Daaa! Bite the shiny metal hook already!

(A cloud floats across the sky. A bird tweets)

Chichirii: *going slightly insane* DAAAAAA!!! BITE THE STUPID HOOK SO THAT I CAN GO BACK IN AND HAVE TEA NO DA!!!

(A bee buzzes around Chichirii, who makes the mistake of swiping at it with the pole)

Chichirii: TAKE THAT, EVIL DEMENTED INSECT WHO'S ULTIMATE PLAN IS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! *swings pole around madly* DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE NO DA!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Bee: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! *begins buzzing all around Chichirii*

Chichirii: YEOWCH NO DA!!!! *swats at bee* Get away from me no da!!!!! *starts performing some very strange antics in an attempt to get rid of the bee* DAAAAAAAA!!!!!! GO AWAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a forest…**

~Forest appears on screen~

And in that forest were two people who were spying on kwaii lil Chichirii (naughty, naughty)… 

~Camera zooms in. Amiboshi and Suboshi appear~

**And those two people were sent by Nakago The Self-Proclaimed General Who Is Really A Pig Farmer…**

~Brief glimpse of Nakko in overalls, surrounded by a milling crowd of pigs~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Amiboshi: *talking to squirrel* No, really? I had no idea that acorns tasted like chicken!

(Suboshi, now thoroughly bored with his twin's conservationist acts, just happens to pick up the binoculars at that precise moment in time. A strange sight meets his eyes) 

Suboshi: *staring* What the *beep* is that?

(Chichirii is currently dancing around, desperately flailing his arms all over the place. To Suboshi, however, it looks like some weird new ritual performed only by Chichiriis and such people)

Suboshi: Maybe it's a war dance or something…*continues staring*

(Chichirii begins to swing the fishing pole around, knocking several branches and their occupants out of trees that so-happened to be in the way)

Suboshi: Maybe it's some sort of power-boosting alternative to Nakago-sama's method…*continues staring*

(Chichirii yanks off his shirt and begins waving that around too)

Suboshi: Maybe it's a strip show! *pauses for a moment* Eew! That's disgusting! *stops staring* Let's go, aniki! The Suzaku no Seshi are not safe to be around! *runs off with Amiboshi in tow*

Amibishi: But what about my new friend? *cries* Waaah! Mr. Fuzzy! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!! *scream fades into distance*

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a cave…**

~Cave appears on screen~

And in that cave was a hole… 

~Camera zooms in to cave entrance~

**And in that hole in the cave lived a red-haired seshi with a fan**

~Tasuki appears, complete with shiny Tessen, fangs and earrings~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Tasuki: *yawns* I'm sooooooo bored…why doesn't anything *beeping* happen??!!

(Just then, Tamahome the local door-to-door seshi salesman appears)

Tama: Ohayo, Tasuki-san!

Tasuki: I take that back…

Tama: Take what back? 

Tasuki: Never mind…whadaya want from me?? And if it has anything to do with my cash…

Tama: Why, Tasuki, I'm appalled! What_ever_ gives you that idea?

Tasuki: Well, it might have something to do with the fact that you've got giant dollar signs in your eyes.

Tama: Damn…are they that obvious?

Tasuki: Yep…

Tama: Darn…I've gotta get myself a pair of sunglasses or something…*plops down on sofa* So…whatcha been doing this past few days?

Tasuki: Sake, TV, sake, sake, sleeping, hangover, TV, eating, sake, TV, sake, sake, sake, TV, sleeping…did I mention sake?

Tama: Only the last eight times…

Tasuki: Okay then…sake, sake, sake, sake, sake, sake, sake. That makes twenty.

Tama: Fifteen…you really should try to improve on your counting skills, you know? I've got this really cool book that you could buy…only 100 ryou!

Tasuki: No.

Tama: Come on…it's on a special promotion! If you buy two volumes, you get a limited edition Miaka poster for free!

Tasuki: And why would I want a limited edition Miaka poster?

Tama: Because I know I would! ^-^

Tasuki: -_-;;;

Tama: So, are you buying?

Tasuki: Tama…

Tama: Yeah?

Tasuki: I've got two words for you…

Tama: "Sure thing"?

Tasuki: No…*whips out Tessen* LEKKA SHIENN!!!!!!!!!

(Tama is lying facedown on the floor, blackened and smoking slightly. Tasuki finally gets off the couch)

Tasuki: Well, now that obake-chan's done for, I might as well go visit ol' Chiri for a while…*walks out of door, heading in the direction of a certain tiny hill*

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a hill…**

~Hill appears on screen~

And on that hill was a hut… 

~Camera zooms in to tiny hut on the already tiny hill~

**And in that hut on the hill lived a monk…**

~Chichirii appears, complete with kasa, kesa, staff and fishing pole~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Chichirii: Forget fishing no da! I'm going inside, where it's SAFE no da! *enters hut and slams door behind him*

(Unfortunately, since this IS a hut, the roof sorta semi-collapses and bits of grass fall into his already messed-up hair)

Chichirii: DAAAAA!!! My hair! My beautiful, blue hair has been destroyed!!! Now I have to wash it, and shampoo it, and gel it AGAIN!!!!

(Anyway, as Chichirii goes to wash, shampoo and gel his hair again, Nuriko arrives)

Nuriko: Chichirii-san! Chichirii-san, are you in? *knocks on fragile wooden door* Chichi-whoops!

(The entire hut collapses like a house of cards, and Chichirii can be seen in a bathtub with a liberal amount of foam on his head. And NO, NOTHING ELSE CAN BE SEEN. The bubbles have very safely ensured that.)

Chichrii: Da? *blink blink* What happened?

Nuriko: *frozen in shock with hand at where the door once was* Er…*hides hand behind back * It wasn't me! It was already broken when I got here!

Chichirii: -_-;;; Nuriko…

Nuriko: Hai?

(Chivhirii suddenly teleports out of the bathtub and re-appears fully-clothed in front of Nuriko. Note: He HAS got his staff)

Chichirii: *begins whacking Nuriko on his purple head* HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO KNOCK SO HARD NO DA????!!!

Nuriko: *cowering* AIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to run away* 

Chichirii: *chasing after Nuriko* MY HUT IS VERY FRAGILE NO DA!!!!! APOLOGIZE NO DA!!!!!!!!!!

Nuriko: *squealing* Gomennasaigomennasaigomennasaiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Nuriko bolts off the hill, leaving a massive trail of dust in his wake)

Chichirii: Che…*shoulders staff* Well, I'm sure not going to try and follow no da…*turns back to remnants of hut, which have been scattered by wind* Now let's see…*snaps fingers, and a book appears with the words "TAIITSUKUN'S BIG BOOK OF SPELLS" printed on the cover* Hmm…what to do when you're faced by ten thousand giant wild boars…what to do when Tasuki's drunk…what to do when Miaka's hungry…aha! Here it is! What to do when Nuriko destroys your house by knocking too hard on the door!

(Chichirii studies the contents for a while, then rolls up his sleeves)

Chichirii: Okie dokie no da…*dramatically* Chichirii the greatest magician in the world, commands that a new house appear right before his eyes no da!

(A frog croaks.  Mr. Fuzzy squeaks. But no house appears)

Chichirii: Daaaaaa…what went wrong?? *turns back to book* Oh, I see! *tries again* Chichirii, the greatest magician in the world, _next to Taiitsukun_, commands that a new house appear right before his eyes no da!

(There is a flash of red light, and a huge, four-story mansion appears in a puff of smoke)

Chichirii: Iie! That's not my house no da!

Book: Well, you didn't ask for _your_ house, did you? You asked for a _new_ house.

Chichirii: -_-;; Fine no da… Chichirii, the greatest magician in the world, next to Taiitsukun, commands that his old house appear right before his eyes no da!

(Chichirii's hut appears with a "POOF". On top of the four-story mansion that he previously conjured, that is)

Chichirii: Ack! *facefaults* Chichirii, the greatest magician in the world, next to Taiitsukun, commands that the unwanted mansion disappear at once no da!

(The mansion vanishes and the hut is sent crashing to the ground in a shower of splinters)

Chichirii: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!! *turns red* Chibichi, the greatest Taiitsukun in the world, commands that his old magician appears in the isles no da!!!!!!!!!!

(POOF)

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was an island…**

~Island appears on screen~

And on that island was a jungle… 

~Camera zooms in to patch of green on the otherwise brown island (And, lo and behold-that is exactly the island where Mitsukake had gone for some well-deserved relaxation)~

**And next to that jungle on the island appeared a magician…**

~Tomo appears in a puff of smoke, complete with feathers and trademark face paint~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Tomo: *blinks* Huh? What the heck am I doing here?? *looks around* Well, since there's a sea nearby, I might as well go fish for some clams since that flea-bitten excuse for a Seiryuu seshi ate my Shin…

(Mitsukake walks out of the jungle wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and huge green sunglasses)

Mits: Hey! What's that over there? Some sort of bird?? *removes specs* Oh no…wait…that's just Tomo…I wonder if I should tell him about the giant sea serpent that lives in the Ridiculously Shallow Water Near the Shore? *thinks* Nah…*disappears into undergrowth*

Tomo: *singing in high-pitched screechy voice* Oooooh my Shiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn, I love you soooooooooooooooooo…hey! I got a bite!

(Giant sea serpent rises out of the Ridiculously Shallow Water Near the Shore, grinning freakishly at Tomo)

Sea serpent: Hi! My name is George, and I'm going to eat you now!

Tomo: Eep!

(And so, let's just say that Tomo had a close-up view of the serpents internal digestive tract)

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a hill…**

~Hill appears on screen~

And on that hill was a hut… 

~Camera zooms in to tiny hut on the already tiny hill~

**And in that hut on the hill lived a monk…**

~Chichirii appears, complete with kasa, kesa, staff and fishing pole~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Chichirii: Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs around frantically* WhattodowhattodowhattoDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Tasuki appears)

Tasuki: Hey Chi-woah! What happened to YOU??

(Chichirii, in SD form, is tomato-faced, sweaty, and not at all happy)

Chichirii: I got the spell all mixed up and now I'm stuck like this! *sobs* Stupid book…

Book: Hey!

Tasuki: But that's okay…I mean, you're SD about 90% of the time anyway.

Chichirii: But I can't _live_ this way no da! How am I supposed to survive at a height of two feet na no da?? I won't even be able to scrub behind my ears any more…da…..

Tasuki: Aw…cheer up, Chiri…I'm sure we'll be able to find a cure…

Chichirii: Really no da?

Tasuki: Sure!

Chichirii: *sniffle* Well, I guess it could be worse…I mean-at least I got my house back no da! *gestures towards old hut* Besides, I might have been transformed into Taiitsukun…*shudder* the horror…

Book: Actually, you couldn't have been transformed into Taiitsukun even if you wanted to; she has imposed a copyright law on herself to prevent anyone from illegally morphing into her.

Tasuki: Why would anybody wanna do _that_??

(A bright flash of light appears out of nowhere and zaps Tasuki)

Tasuki: X_X

Chichirii: She sure has good hearing no da…

Tasuki: No kidding…*leaps to feet and shouts into distance* STUPID OLD HAG!!!!!!!! C'mon, Chiri, let's get the *beep* outta here! 

Chichirii: Tasuki no da…

Tasuki: What??

Chichirii: You have to give me a piggyback no da.

Tasuki: WHAT??!!!!!! WHY???

Chichirii: *sighs* Because, Tasuki-san, in this form, my legs are even shorter that Chiriko's no da, and it would take me a _lot_ of effort to keep up with you na no da.

Tasuki: Good point. Alright fine…hop on before I *beeping* change my mind. *grumbles* *Beeping* came all the way here just to give a *beeping* pony ride to a *beeping* monk…

Chichirii: Yay! *hops on* Arigatou no da!!! ^-^

Tasuki: Yeah whatever…

(And so, our heroes ride off into the sunset. Or at least, _one of_ them does…and they make their way off the tiny hill, humming to the tune of Jingle Bells, which I do not own)

The (temporary) End

A/N: The storyline seems familiar…if you've written a story about a certain blue-haired monk getting stuck in SD form n want me to change this um…story, pls tell me!!! My memory is really, horribly, terribly awful, so I may have taken your idea without even realizing it!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The horror!!!!!!!!!!!! The horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ideas, comments, suggestions? Juz click the lil blue button below ^-^


	2. The Seshi-Finder!

Ch2…

Disclaimer: Me sa no own…sad but true…

~Haha! *holds up paper bag*  I'm back with chap 2!! *dumps chapter two onto web page* Enjoy minna, n thankies fer reviewing^^~

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was an endless plain…**

~Endless plain appears on screen~

And on that endless plain were two tiny seshi specks … 

~Camera zooms in. Tasuki and Chichirii appear. And yes, Tasuki is still playing the role of the pony…~

**And those two tiny seshi specks on the endless plain were happily singing…**

~Chichirii sings 'One Thousand Magical Books In This World' with Tasuki emphasizing on the "Why? WHY??!!" parts~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Chichirii: One thousand magical books in this world, one thousand magical books…and out of them all, I had to choose Paul…one thousand magical books in this world…

Tasuki: Why? WHY??!! *sobs* WHH-HHYYYY???!!!!!

Chichirii: Wow…that's a lot of emphasis no da.

Tasuki: Aw…shaddup…*grouches to himself* Darned singing monks…

Chichirii: Nine hundred and ninety-nine magical books in this world, nine hundred and ninety-nine magical books…and out of them all, I had to choose Paul… nine hundred and ninety-nine magical books in this world…

Tasuki: *clenching fists* Iwillnotkillhim…Iwill_not_killhim…*pauses, thinking* Hang on…you gave a name to a _book_??!

Chichirii: Well, I had to no da! 'Book' doesn't rhyme with 'all', does it na no da?!

Tasuki: -_-;; I just had to ask…

Chichirii: Tasuki no da…

Tasuki: What??

Chichirii: What would you say if I told you that you were about to walk into a lake which mysteriously appeared out of nowhere no da?

Tasuki: I'd say that your brain shrunk even more than your body did. Why?

Chichirii: Oh…just asking no da…*pulls on snorkel and goggles*

Tasuki: What the *beep* are you doin? Are you *beeping* craz-

(There is a horrible "SPLASH" sound, followed my assorted screams, curses and gurgling)

Tasuki: AHHHHHH!!!! WATER!!!!!!!! *flounders around in knee-deep pond* HEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!!!! I'M *BEEPING* _DROWNING_!!! 

(Chichirii is swimming slowly towards Tasuki. The gravity-defying bangs really live up to their reputation, and stick straight out of the water. Jaws music, which I do not own, plays)

Tasuki: OH MY SUZAKU IT'S A SHARK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *suddenly forgets about drowning* GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!! *runs out of lake, out of water, and out of sight*

Chichirii: *pokes head above water and removes scuba gear* Da?

Duck: Quack! Quack! Quack! *pecks Chichirii on head*

Chichirii: Ah! Evil psycho duck no da!! *teleports to Alaska*

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a valley…**

~Valley appears on screen~

**And in that valley was a pig farm…**

~Camera zooms in. Pig farm appears~

**And on that pig farm in the valley lived Nakago The Self-Proclaimed General Who Is Really A Pig Farmer…**

~Brief glimpse of Nakko in overalls, surrounded by a milling crowd of pigs~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Nakago: *flinging handfuls of pig feed in all direction* Have more food, my pretties. Then, when you are strong enough, I will use your tremendous porky power to take over the world!! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Tasuki: *runs madly onto scene* AHHHHHHHHH!!! Huh? *blink blink* What the *beep* am I doin here??

Nakago: =( You have entered the sacred territory of the Seiryuu! Go, my minions! Attack the intruder!

(Thousands of pigs charge towards Tasuki, who is too busy laughing to notice)

Tasuki: Mfuahahahaha*snort*hahahahaha*snort snort*hahaha!!!!!! The *beeping* leader of the Seiryuu seven is a *beeping* bacon seller!!

Nakago: *shoots his Angry General GlareTM* Do not doubt the power of the pig!!! They will crush your pathetic non-piggy form in an instant!

(The pigs are _still_ in the process of charging towards Tasuki, who is _still_ laughing his head off)

Tasuki: Hahaha! *wipes away tears* *Beep*Nakago, this has gotta be the funniest *beeping* thing since Tama got his shirt caught in the dishwasher! 

Nakago: No!! Not funny! _Evil_!!! EEEVVVVIIILLLLLLL!!!!!

(Miaka appears in a ninja outfit, complete with samurai sword and black ribbons in hair)

Miaka: *Leaping over fence in a single bound* HYYYAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Nakago/Tasuki: o.O _Miaka_??!

(Pigs stop charging and stare dumbly)

Miaka: *brandishing sword* I am Mia-Ki, the most dangerous bandit of this valley! Hand me the food and no one gets hurt!!

Tasuki: -_-;;; I shoulda known…

Nakago: *sigh* Does she always think with her stomach? *blasts Mia-Ki out of valley with his Super  Special Seiryuu BlastTM)

Miaka: NOOOOO!!!! FOOOOOOD!!!!!!

Nakago: *shakes fist* And stay away! My pigs need to be healthy if they're gonna help me with my plan of world domination…

Tasuki: oO

Nakago: _What_??! At least _they_ have some degree of intelligence!!

Tasuki: …

-Meanwhile-

Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient Alaska, there was glacier… 

~12000000000000000000foot glacier appears~

And on that glacier there was an igloo… 

~Camera zooms in to sparkly igloo teetering dangerously on the peak of the glacier~

And in that igloo on the glacier lived a one-eyed seshi 

~Tomite appears, complete with eye patch, comical hat and ice arrows~

**Get the picture? Good! ^-^**

Tomite: *sipping tea* Ahh…this is so relaxing…

(Just then, Chichirii crashes through the roof with a…)

Chichirii: DAAAAAAA!!! *lands in sofa* Well, that wasn't so bad…^-^

(The igloo begins swaying violently from side to side. Tomite spills tea all over his front)

Tomite: *BEEP*!!!

Chichirii: Uh oh…

(Cracks begin forming in the wall. Bits of frost spray everywhere)

Chichirii: _This_ is bad no da…*hides under cushion* 

(Everyone hangs on for dear life as the igloo topples off and plummets 12000000000000000000feet into the ocean)

Tomite: My teeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Chichirii: My haaaaaaaaiiiiiirrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Well, I guess now we know what their main priorities are…-_-;;)

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a garden…**

~Garden appears on screen~

**And in that garden was a house…**

~Camera zooms in. Relatively normal-looking house appears~

**And in that house in the garden lived a purple haired seshi…**

~Nuriko appears, complete with braids, bracelets and very frilly dress~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Nuriko: *whistling* Dum de dum dum…*to rose* You're so pretty…just like me…

Rose: *hack hack* No way! I'm like _so_ much better looking!!

Nuriko: Nani??! *raises fist* You can't say that to me!!!

Rose: Why not? I've been listening you go on and on about that "Hotohori" guy like so many times already! It's like _so lame_!! He is _so_ not worth my time.

Nuriko: *can you say 'mad'?* STUPID *BEEPING* FLOWER!!! NO ONE TALKS THAT WAY ABOUY _MY_ HOTOHORI!!!!!! *grabs lawn mower* GAAAH!! *runs over rose multiple times*

Rose: Noooooo!!!! *splat* The agony!! *squish* The cruelty of it all! *squealch*

Nuriko: *grabs flamethrower* BURN!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 

(A sizzling sound is heard, accompanied my a shrill scream)

Kourin: *opening front door* Nani, aniki? What's happening out here? *waggles finger* You aren't torturing the plants again, are you? 

Nuriko: Eh hehehehe…*blocks charred remains of rose from view* Nope…^-^;;

Kourin:-_-;; 

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient Alaska, there was a sea…**

~Sea appears on screen~

**And in that sea was a plank…**

~Camera zooms in. Measly looking plank appears~

**And next to that plank in the sea were two stranded seshi…**

~Chichirii and Tomite are shown in reclining inflata-chairs, complete with sunglasses, coconuts and a waterproof radio~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Chichirii: Daa…this is the life^^…*sips coconut*

(The radio is playing "One Thousand Magical Books In This World", the latest hit on 77.7 FM!!)

Tomite: Tea would've been better…                                                              

Chichirii: Okay then no da. 

(Chichirii snaps his fingers and a huge cup of tea appears)

Tomite: ^_____________^ Now that's more like it!

Chichirii: ^^ I agree no da! 

Radio: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special news update! It has just been confirmed that a pig farm in an isolated province of ancient China has been burnt by a mysterious fire. The only survivor of this horrifying ordeal, a Mr. Nakago-sama, had this to say about the incident…

(Nakago's voice is heard, crackling slightly due to static)

Nakago: How could he do this to me??! I was supposed to run a world domination organization, not a breakfast outlet!!! That stupid son-of-a-

Radio: *tactfully interrupting* The identity of the perpetrator is still currently unknown, though it seems to be indirectly linked to a suspicious-looking earring that was discovered at the scene of the crime. Our group of forensic experts have also discovered the words "I belong to Tasuki" inscribed on it. If you have any information as to who the attacker might be, please contact Tokaki at 1900-08-IMFREE2NITE, or email Subaru at Do_I_Have_To_Get_Out_The_Superglue_Again@seshi.net. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Tomite: Hey…doesn't that sound a bit like-

Chichirii: Tasuki na no da!! *disappears with a pop*

Tomite: Hey! Monk Boy! Where'd ya go?

(Seagull squawks. Chichirii doesn't reply) 

Tomite: *shrugs* Oh well…*chugs down more tea* Mmmmmmmm…

-Meanwhile-

**Far, far away, in an isolated province of ancient China, there was a very big plot of land…**

~Very big plot of land appears on screen~

**And on that very big plot of land was a mansion…**

~Camera zooms in. Gigantic twenty-story mansion appears~

And in that gigantic twenty-story mansion on the very big plot of land lived the emperor of Konan… 

~Hotohori appears, complete with long flowing pajama-like robes, not-so tangle-free hair and pink bunny slippers~

Get the picture? Good! ^-^ 

Hotohori: *Yawn* It's too early to wake up…*groan*

Tasuki: *hiding in laundry basket* Psst! Hotohori!

Hotohori: It's too early to be "psst"-ed at…*groan* *flops onto overly large couch*

Tasuki: Hotohori!!

Hotohori: It's too early for me to be hearing things…*groan*

Tasuki: HOTOHORI!!!

Hotohori: It's too early for me to be shouted at…*groan*

(Tasuki, being the very refined man that he is, hops out of the laundry basket, and flings it at the dozing emperor)

Tasuki: OI! WAKE UP YOU *BEEPING* LAZY LUG!!!! I NEED YOUR *BEEPING* HELP!!!!!!!

Hotohori: *finally wakes up* Ouch! Well, that's a nice way to ask for it…

Tasuki: Shaddup…I need your help to find Chichirii! I've sorta lost him.

Hotohori: Well, what does he look like?

Tasuki: *thinking* Well…he's about this high *holds up Tessen*, is in SD form, and has gravity-defying blue hair…hey…wait a sec-*whacks Hotohori on the head* You _know_ what the *beep* he looks like!!!

Hotohori: I do?

Tasuki: YES YOU DO!!!!!!!!!

Hotohori: Well, I dunno where he is anyways…and why were you hiding in my laundry??

Tasuki: I had to…I'm wanted for torching Nakago-baka's pig farm.

Hotohori: How could you do such a thing??! Tasuki! I'm so asham-did you say "Nakago"?

Tasuki: Yep.

Hotohori: Oh. That's alright then.

Tasuki: -_-;;; Right….so d'ya know _anyone_ who might know where he is?

(Just then, Tamahome the local door-to-door seshi salesman appears)

Hotohori: *rolls eyes* Right on time…

Tama: Heya Tasuki-ol-buddy-ol-pal!!

Tasuki: Help…

Tama: I just happen to have _exactly_ what you need!

Tasuki: *sarcastically* You don't say…

Tama: I _do_ say. Behold-the latest in Suzaku Schiseshi tracking devices-the Seshi-Finder!!! *pulls out metallic looking thingamajig with lotsa weird buttons and the words "Only for use by Suzaku's seshi" printed on the side)

Hotohori: Whoopee…

Tasuki: And you expect me too buy that thing…

Tama: *nod nod* Only 100000000006 ryou!!

Hotohori: But that's _robbery_! Even my hair gel costs less!

Tama: *shrugs* Hair gel is hair gel…Seshi-Finder is Seshi-Finder…

Tasuki: Are you sure it works? *grabs tracking device and types in Tamahome's name* 

(Seshi-Finder splutters a few times, then the words "in front of your face, idiot!" appear on the screen)

Tasuki: What the heck??!! *whips out Tessen* LEKKA-

Tama: You burn it, you buy it.

Tasuki:…Fine…

Hotohori: It _does_ work though… 

Tasuki: I know…but _some _of us are a little less wealthy than_ others_.

Hotohori: Yeah, I agree…

(Long pause)

Tama: Umm…Hotohori…I think that was your cue to generously donate some of your wealth to the Tamahome fund for Tasuki's sake…

Hotohori: Oh. Okay…*takes out checkbook*

Tasuki: Thanks, Hoto! You're the greatest!!!

Hotohori: Yeah whatever…keep in mind that you'll be in my debt for the rest of your waking hours though…

Tasuki: Some friend…*sniffle*

Tama: ^_______^ A pleasure doing business with you!! *saunters out*

Hotohori: Well…look on the bright side…at least we didn't get any complementary Miaka-made cookies or something…

Tasuki: Yeah…I guess…

(And so, our hero walks off into the sunset in search of the other hero, cramming the Seshi-Finder into his pocket as he makes his way off the very big plot of land)

The (second temporary) End 

A/N: Since my brain has been reduced to a frozen lump of ice due to too much cramming for tomorrow's Physics test (which I am likely to fail anyway), poor lil Chichirii & not-so-lil Tasuki will be forced to wander around the FY world aimlessly until I can rediscover at least a portion of my missing common sense. 

And yes, I do love exclamation marks!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
